I think we make decisions knowing fully well what the outcome would be. We make choices; to be, to do, to think or act...or not and deep down we have some clue as to what awaits us on the other side. So I made that decision knowing what would happen...knowing where i stood, knowing that it would never go the way I wanted it to but instead trickle off into that stream that leads to hurt and despair and regret. We all prefer to believe that we're strong enough as we posess that prior knowledge...if it were that simple then life would be easier...but at the same time it would be boring and as humas we live for, eat, sleep and breathe the unknown. We live for those moments when we can step out without a backward glance; where we can step with surety towards that which we do not know...because the anticipation of the unknown draws us...pulls us...tempts us like a seductress aware of our weaknesses and using that to her advantage.
So now here I am unsure if what i feel is regret or if i had known that this is what would have been. What I do know, however, is that my life would never, ever be the same.
4 comments:
is this guilt that i am sensing?
Life is risk.
You wanted something, and risked what you had in favor of that.
With every risk there is reward and the question is which is greater the risk or the reward.
In life you have to balance the things you want and need against your ability or inability to handle the x factors that are out of your control, the most obvious of which is other people. If you are unsure or have any doubt then you already know the outcome and you're inviting the beast to come and have dinner.
I am stupid and cannot read, ignore the fact that I entered this like 10 times.
@oneshot, this is not guilt in the way you mean it, it's guilt in getting caught.
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